My neurodivergent story - Eleonora Pizzutti

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Who I am
My story
For a long time I felt at the mercy of life, there was something deciding for me, but it certainly wasn't me: expectations from family members, colleagues, bosses, fears, feelings of guilt towards everything and everyone, but also events that had hit my confidence and self-esteem to the core.

This situation caused me physical problems and a very heavy psychological condition, which I experienced week after week: every Monday was for me like having to throw myself into a swimming pool with too much chlorine, swim in apnea for the whole week, until Friday when I got out of that swimming pool and spent the weekend recovering from the trauma. Yes, you read correctly and I'm not exaggerating, I suffered a real "trauma".
Then the turning point, a series of small but significant episodes, which never arrive by chance and which lead you to meet and collide with the harsh reality of the facts: you have to stop and understand, you can no longer take charge of everything and everyone, you cannot go on pursuing goals that are not yours, that are far below your reach, which is why you have lost all motivation, all drive, you feel no passion for what you do day after day.

The paradox was that in this situation, in which I was unable to express myself for who I really am, to think big as I knew I was capable of doing, I even ended up doubting whether I even deserved the little I had achieved, as if everything had come by chance or luck. Certainly not for my skills or resources.
And in the meantime, I saw people at work who I believed had the same potential as me or, let's face it, even less, making career leaps, forging strategic and valuable relationships for them, navigating office politics in an easy and serene way as on a yacht with all the comforts. For me it was just a big stormy sea, where I couldn't find my port to finally have peace and quiet.

Yet I knew I had all the credentials (I have a law degree, a master's degree in labor law and almost 20 years of all-round experience in human resources), solid values ​​and a lot of willpower, I just lacked clarity, trust, security, the right mindset and a pinch of self-esteem, to start accepting me with my lights and my shadows and enhancing them, making my voice heard, understanding how my unique characteristics would have traced the path I had to undertake and then only find the courage to take that road, which would finally lead me straight to the happiness I felt I deserved.

As you can see, in the end I found my courage and today I accompany people who feel they can reach that next level of fulfilment, satisfaction and well-being that I too was looking for, to see the path to do it right in front of them and to take all the steps you need to walk it.

I forgot one detail, but I purposely kept it at the end: I am an autistic person, with Asperger's Syndrome, therefore I am a neurodivergent person and this condition has taught me that, one should never leave anyone else the power to decide what you CAN or YOU CAN'T do.... only YOU decide it!

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